I’ve been reading blogs lately. I would like to be able to say it’s for the express purpose of delighting in the literary giftedness of others and to somehow be inspired and provoked toward further developing my “me-ness” (not to be confused with my “meanness”- which would be the topic of an entirely different blog entry). And certainly I can appreciate the artistry with which wordsmiths paint word pictures; however, appreciation quickly gives way to scrutiny and comparison. It’s not that I’m trying to find fault with others necessarily; it’s that I tend to compare. I think comparison is a somewhat natural thing. I think it’s one of the ways we’re wired to learn. From early on, we note the differences and similarities between various objects and people. I also think, though, that Satan, being shrewd, is more than happy to offer us interpretations for our observations. They often seem to make complete sense, and we find ourselves in agreement with the false “truth” he offers us, thus establishing our belief systems.
For example: My sister once gave my mother a 2-liter bottle of Pepsi for Christmas. To say my mother enjoyed Pepsi would be a gross understatement, so she was absolutely delighted with her gift. She mentioned that she had never before been so surprised by a gift. So the facts were: a. my sister and I had each given a gift; b. my mother demonstrated obvious joy in the gift given by my sister. Interpretation: My gift obviously wasn’t as good of a gift; hence, I’m not as good as my sister. And every year thereafter, I worked as hard as I could to elicit a like response from my mom through my gift-giving in an effort to somehow prove myself “good enough.”
In Galatians 6, Paul says, “Make a careful exploration of who you are and the work you have been given, and then sink yourself into that. Don't be impressed with yourself. Don't compare yourself with others. Each of you must take responsibility for doing the creative best you can with your own life.” I’m continually learning how to do that- to make a careful exploration of who I am. How is that done? I find that it’s so easy to default back to comparison- looking at what others are (or appear to be), assuming that MUST be the standard, and determining that I don’t measure up. This is how the world functions; this is how Satan would have us relate to one another. When I compare myself to others, I inevitably relate to them as a rival rather than a brother or sister whom my Father loves as dearly as he does me and whose destiny might somehow be intertwined with mine, and someone whom I have the opportunity to love and be loved by.
So how do I explore the depths of who Lisa is? Ephesians 1 says, “It's in Christ that we find out who we are and what we are living for.” That reminds me of a song we sang in church years ago: “When I gaze into your loveliness… when all things that surround become shadows in the light of you…” It sounds somewhat cliché to say, “I just need to turn my eyes back to Jesus.” While I’m not terribly fond of cliché, I recognize the truth in this particular one- that when I’m looking at Jesus rather than the goings on of others or the glittery robes in which their lives seemed to be adorned, I see myself reflected in his eyes, and it’s a TRUE reflection of who I’m truly becoming.
