Guilty

I must say, I know how to choose friends.  I have some great ones! J  While each of them is a blessing to me, one in particular blessed me in a tangible manner recently.  It was a complete surprise.  I had no inkling it was coming.  It was a demonstration of her love and appreciation for me.  My initial reaction:  Guilt!  In the span of a few seconds, thoughts of various nature ping-ponged around in my head.  Certainly I was incredibly grateful and delighted; who doesn’t like to receive a gift?  But I found myself feeling unworthy of its receipt.  I thought of the reasons I really didn’t merit something so nice.  I then thought of how generous was my friend and determined I fell short in that area.  I tried to think of how I could take the gift and do something nice for my friend with it.  I then pondered the “right” thing to do with it.  Something that was meant to bless me had become, in my estimation, something not to steward with gratefulness and delight but something to retroactively earn.  When I allowed the ping-ponging to subside, I recognized that this approach to receiving a gift wasn’t new to me.   Don’t I, on some level, wrestle with the concept of having to earn that which God has given me as demonstrations of his love?  My husband… my children… grace…

I believe that part of my becoming process involves learning to view myself through the lens of grace.  This lens magnifies who I am and what I do right and diminishes the imperfections.  This is not a means by which I can “let myself off the hook,” or see myself as better than I am, but it’s a means by which I can grow in God-confidence.  Doing so serves not to exalt myself but to glorify he who is perfecting me- he who delights in me because I’m Lisa.

Shadow Lands

Grant Mitchell

My boys and I have been doing quite a bit of reading this summer.  We recently finished The Chronicles of Narnia series.  This was the first venture through the land of Narnia for my kids, and I took great delight in journeying through with them.  I was near their ages when I was first introduced to Aslan and Narnia and Cair Paravel and Talking Beasts.  I remember how much I wanted to find a wardrobe that would transport me to a magical land of adventure and wonder.  In fact, I still think it would be wonderful!  The Chronicles of Narnia have long been among my most favorite books, so it was special to share that with my children.

Logan Michael

As is always the case after reading these books, I stumbled again and again upon nuggets of spiritual truth nestled within the pages and coming out through the dialogue of the characters.  I’ve been pondering the words of Aslan in The Last Battle, “They’ve chosen cunning over belief.”  He was speaking of a group of dwarves who, while they were in a most beautiful and heavenly place, had been deceived into thinking that they were in the confines of a dark and dirty stable.  They could see nothing but blackness; they could smell nothing but stable filth; and even when Aslan gave them the most wonderful delicacies to eat, they believed themselves to be eating rotting vegetables and straw and such.

Where have I chosen cunning over belief?  God forbid that it be AT ALL!  Yet I know that’s not the case.  But my prayer is that I would continue to have eyes to see and ears to hear what the Holy Spirit never tires of teaching me- of bringing me to those places of encountering the REAL God.  This was the problem in the story of The Last Battle.  The Narnians had knowledge of Aslan; they were doing their best to serve him and follow him.  Yet it had been centuries since anyone had had an encounter with him, so when a false Aslan appeared and began issuing edicts and commands that didn’t seem to fit with the character of the Aslan they knew of cognitively, doubts fueled by fear ran rampant.  Perhaps they’d angered him in some manner, so of course they should just strive to do better; be better… Perhaps this was part of his “goodness,” for he wasn’t a tame lion, after all... and it certainly wouldn’t do NOT to be obedient, even if they did wonder on some level if this really was Aslan, because if it were, what consequences might they suffer for their noncompliance?

I fear that this is where many Christians find themselves today.  They’re following a semblance of Christ that is lacking the love and fellowship that is the essence of who he is and what he desires with his beloved.  The devil is cunning; shrewd; conniving.  Often his lies and deception come wrapped in the faintest hint of truth so we might not see through his guise as easily.  And while he may not succeed in convincing us to give up on Christ altogether, the lives we live are shadows at best of what it is God really wants us to experience.

God, bring us out of the shadow lands!  May it seem repulsive to us to continue being merely figments of who we truly are.  May we explode into our real selves!  Draw us by your spirit to those romantic places wherein we experience your very essence.