Being a Grown-Up
"Yes, wasn't it a shame?" said Lucy. "I saw you all right. They wouldn't believe me. They're all so-"
"From somewhere deep inside Aslan's body there came the faintest suggestion of a growl.
"I'm sorry," said Lucy... "I didn't mean to start slanging the others. But it wasn't my fault anyway, was it?"
The Lion looked straight into her eyes.
"Oh, Aslan," said Lucy. "You don't mean it was? How could I- I couldn't have left the others and come up to you alone, how could I?... Oh, well, I suppose I could. Yes, and it wouldn't have been alone, I know, not if I was with you..." ~Prince Caspian
It occurs to me... I'm a grown-up. Seeing as how the age of forty is now within shooting distance for me, that I'm preparing to celebrate my thirteenth wedding anniversary, and that I'm a mother, perhaps that shouldn't be such a shocking revelation. Yet somehow adulthood hasn't always been one of those easy paths for me to navigate. I've often felt like a child who needs permission to make a move. So many times my decisions have needed to be run by someone else before I have been able to make them. Not that there's not wisdom in a multitude of counselors- the Bible clearly tells us that. But how often have I felt like Lucy- knowing that I know that I've seen God; that he's said to me, "Here's the path. Walk this way." How could I, though? After all, "they" were going the other direction. How could I walk a path alone? Granted, there have been those wise and bold individuals whom I've noticed taking the path less traveled, but they were "big" people; grown-ups... And God says to me, "Lisa, you're my child, but you're not a child. You're responsible for following me whether anyone else sees me on the path or not." At one point in my journey, that would have incited anxiety. "What if I just think I'm seeing God down this path, but it's not really him?!" And while I recognize I'm a grown-up, I also delight in the simplicity of child-like faith that dares to move, believing full well that God loves me enough and cares more about my success than I do that he'll certainly make clear to me when I've gone astray. The Bible says that the steps of a righteous man are ordered by God, but even righteous men stumble. Yet even when he stumbles, he won't fall! I've stumbled many times, and I have no doubt I will again- probably even soon! :) Yet I've experienced what it's like to be lovingly corrected by God- no shame, no condemnation. So, like Lucy, I can say, "I do hope... that you will all come with me. Because- because I'll ... go with him whether anyone else does or not."
